room-makeover

A standard teenage bedroom is fundamentally characterized by an incredibly chaotic floor immediately juxtaposed against a perfectly blank, utterly boring, flat white ceiling.

A single boring glass lightbulb in the center of the room fails to establish any dramatic, atmospheric mood. To completely hack the visual geography of a bedroom, a teenager must construct massive, aggressive, three-dimensional ceiling architecture.

By utilizing cheap, spherical paper lanterns as rigid skeletal scaffolding, commanding heavy-duty hot glue mechanics to aggressively bolt massive clusters of polyester stuffing to the exterior, and threading screamingly bright, color-changing LED strip lights deeply through the core, a teenager can manufacture an enormous, hyper-realistic, glowing Storm Cloud Light. When activated via remote control, the massive fluffy sculpture violently pulses with neon pink and deep purple lightning. Here is the aerial construction protocol.

We have all seen it at a yard sale: a massive, incredibly heavy, beautifully carved solid wood dresser from the 1960s that is completely ruined by a thick, ugly, scratched orange-brown varnish finish.

The immediate urge is to run to the hardware store, buy a massive can of bright Coral or Emerald Green paint, and aggressively slap it thickly over the glossy wood to completely modernize the piece. However, if you skip the mandatory (and agonizing) preparation steps, your beautiful new coral paint will chemically fail to bond. In three weeks, the bright coral will start violently peeling off in massive, rubbery flakes every time you open a drawer.

Furniture flipping is not about the painting stroke; it is entirely about the chemical surface preparation. Here is the hardcore, professional guide to painting furniture a bold, screaming color that actually lasts.

The painted wall arch is the single most defining interior design trend of the modern era.

Instead of dealing with the agony of hanging wallpaper or painting an entire, massive living room wall, you simply paint one massive, solid, perfectly smooth, violently colorful arch-shaped "doorway" directly over a bed, behind a bookshelf, or behind a desk.

The painted arch acts as a massive block of focal color, visually framing the furniture in front of it and tricking the eye into believing the sterile, flat drywall actually possesses sophisticated, custom, curving architecture. Painting an arch requires roughly $20 of paint and exactly one hour of work, but executing the perfect, flawless semi-circle requires a strict, incredibly simple mathematical trick. Here is exactly how to draw the arch.